Find Yourself! You are in there…

“It is okay to be confused but don’t stay in the confused state for long. Get up & get moving after awhile” said my dear old friend of 13 years, Mide.

Folayemi Emoruwa
4 min readMay 27, 2022


Life happens to every one of us, and most times, when it does, we are often not prepared for it. We get confused and have no clear direction of what to do next. We may feel as if we are trapped in an endless, murky web of uncertainty if we are confused for a long time. Confusion can make us feel powerless, anxious, stressed, and a variety of other depleting emotions, but did you know that if you accept it, it can also be a blessing?

Image by Liza Summer

Yes, if you want to follow the path of self-discovery, you may transform this into positive energy for yourself. Discovering who we are is the most exciting and crucial experience of our life. In another parlance, you can say knowing your IKIGAI which is a Japanese word that translates into “your reason for being.”

Finding yourself may appear to be a self-centered objective, but it is a selfless process that underpins all we do in life. To be the most important person in the world, the finest partner, parent, and so on, we must first understand who we are, what we value, and what we can provide. Every person will profit from embarking on this own adventure of self-discovery. It’s a process that includes breaking down certain things that are not beneficial to us or reflect who we genuinely are, and it may need us to be open to our experiences at times.

Here are some steps you can take to overcome your confusion and find yourself:

  1. Make sense of your past: We need to know our own story to figure out who we are and why we act the way we do. Being bold and willing to go into our past is crucial in understanding ourselves and becoming the person we want to be. According to research, it’s not so much what happens to us that defines who we become as it is how much we make sense of what happens to us. Unresolved historical traumas influence how we respond today.
  2. Accept where you are: Accept the vagueness, the perplexity, and the sense of being stuck. You may be stranded because you’re supposed to be there. This is frequently a warning that more information is needed before proceeding or that there are specific lessons you should learn in that situation. “I don’t know what to do, and that’s okay,” is something that you can admit to yourself. You move out of the fog and into clarity when communicating your uncertainty. The more you concentrate on what you are sure of, the more at ease you will feel in your current situation.
  3. Seek Purpose: In order to find ourselves, we must all seek out our own personal sense of purpose. This means separating our own point of view from other people’s expectations of us. It means asking ourselves what our values are, what truly matters to us, then following the principles we believe in. Studies show that the happiest people seek out meaning more than just pleasure, and that people are generally happier when they have goals that extend beyond themselves. Finding yourself and your happiness is, therefore, a venture inextricably linked to finding meaning.
  4. Focus on what you know & Think about what you want: When you are confused it can be easy to get stuck in a web of consistent, repetitive thoughts and focus on the negative only. To clear this, start focusing on what you don’t feel confused about and start focusing on what you want. Knowing what we want is fundamental to finding ourselves. Recognizing our wants and desires helps us realize who we are and what’s important to us.
  5. Be patient: Being confused is a sign of change and you may need to let the journey unfold a little bit more before you make a decision. Be at peace with that, and be at peace with the fact that you don’t have all the answers. Just accept the way things are and trust that you won’t remain in this state forever; inspiration will reach you when the time comes to make a decision.
  6. Extend Kindness and Generosity to Others: “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi

Dear reader, please find yourself, you are in there!

PS: Need a pen friend to talk to? Send an email to I will be looking forward to read from you.



Folayemi Emoruwa

Freelance digital/social media marketing expert; Business Enthusiast & Environmental Scientist by profession.